Drabble XIII
by Fireblast123
Summary: Short, humorous drabbles about Organization XIII. Original, I know.
1. Denial

...WHY DO I KEEP MAKING THESE THINGS?!

Anywho, all of these stories will be little drabbles about Orgy XIII. None are connected unless I say otherwise. also, no romance. At all.

Kingdom Hearts and all associated characters belong to Square Enix and Disney.

* * *

Larxene and Vexen stepped out of the darkness to find Saix waiting for them. "Did you defeat the Emerald Serenade?" He asked in his usual emotionless tone.

"Emerald what?" Larxene scratched her head in confusion. "All we did was kill some Heartless. Anyways, I'm off to go torture Demyx, later!"

As soon as she left the room, number VII turned to glare at the Chilly Acedemic. "Explain, number IV."

"I assure you, Saix," Vexen said with a flippant wave of his hand. "we eliminated the Emerald Serenade."

"Then what is with number XII's attitude?" Saix growled.

'Oh dear,' Vexen thought. 'Saix is getting angry...Why is this lower rank ordering me around, anyways?' Instead of voicing his irritation, the controller of ice answered Saix's previous query. "I believe that she has completely forgotten the fight due to a mental defence mechanism."

The Luna Diviner raised an eyebrow. "Defence mechanism?"

"I think that she's unknowingly in denial. After all, it's not every day that she meets something faster than her."

* * *

...THIS IS FUNNY. YOU'RE LAUGHING, YES?

Review with ideas you have. Remember, no romance, only funny.

Thanks for reading!


	2. Names XII

Zexion was looking through a collective log of the Organization's history. After a couple hours of this, his brow furrowed in confusion. He flipped to the first page and started to skim the pages over. He did this another three times before coming to a bizarre realisation. "What _are_ the true names of numbers IX through XII?"

His curiosity started to overwhelm his logic to find this out, so he ventured out to find the four members and ask the same question he asked himself. The Cloaked Schemer decided to get the most lethal out of the way first, and knocked on Larxene's door. "Larxene, it's Zexion. I have a question for you."

"Door's open." The Savage Nymph called.

Zexion opened the door to find Larxene doing the one thing that they share in common: reading. Of course, he would never read one of Marquis De Sade's books, but they still held a common interest. "I would like to ask you a question."

"You already said that, nerd." She snapped without glancing from her book.

Of course, just because they have common interests, doesn't mean they like each other. "I was hoping that you could tell me your original name, as I can't find records of it anywhere."

It was like a switch flipped inside her, and thirty seconds later number VI found himself running for his life as the lightning-wielder furiously chased him through the halls of the Castle that Never Was.


	3. Names X

Zexion growled as he threw down another bad hand of cards. He had confronted Luxord about his true name, but the gambler said that he would only reveal it if the Cloaked Schemer beat him at a single game of Blackjack.

It was the seventh game, and Zexion had lost every one.

"Another round?" Luxord asked with a mocking chuckle while he shuffled his deck.

Number VI angrily stood up and started stomping out of the room. 'A name isn't worth this humiliation!' He thought. He stopped in his tracks when a devious thought struck him. 'It's been a while since I've done this...' Zexion turned around to face number X with a devilish smirk. "Hey Luxord."

"Yes?"

"You may have won _these_ games, but you just lost _the_ game!" And then he bolted out of the room as fast as he could.

It took a moment for what was said to process in Luxord's mind, but when it did, he threw his deck of cards at the wall and slammed his other fist on the table. "Damn you Zexion!"

* * *

By the way, you all just lost the game too.


	4. Names XI

For the Graceful Assassin, Zexion decided to ask his colleague Vexen about the name. Number VI found the academic in his lab, experimenting on...Something or another, Zexion couldn't care less. Or more, for that matter. "Vexen, I have a question to ask you."

"What is it, boy?" Vexen growled as he dumped some sort of liquid into a beaker.

"You have records of all of our original names, correct?"

"Yes, what of it? Hurry up, boy! I'm busy."

Zexion sighed in frustration. Vexen was a jerk when he's experimenting. "I was curious as to what Marluxia's original name was, as I can't find records of it."

"I wouldn't know." The Chilly Academic replied.

Zexion's jaw dropped. "But, you _just_ said-"

"I thought when you said 'our,' you meant the senior members. Why would I care about some half-witted children and their names?" Number VI had no response to that. "Done? Good, now get out. I'm on the verge of creating a new type of Potion."

Zexion, using his powers of illusion, switched the colors of two liquids in a couple of beakers; one of which Vexen was reaching for. About five minutes later, when the Cloaked Schemer was long gone, a large explosion rocked the entire castle.

* * *

Zexy is a vengeful little guy.

Thanks for reading!


	5. Names IX

Demyx sat in a sofa in his room, adjusting the strings of his sitar. 'Never again shall I smash this against a Large Body.' He repeated in his head like a mantra.

A knock sounded from his door, and the Melodious Nocturne said, "C'mon in!"

In walked Zexion, looking incredibly irritated. He didn't know why he was still on this ridiculous hunt for just four simple names, but his pride would not let him give it up until he learned at least one. "Demyx, what was your original name?" He was too angered to bother with pleasantries.

"Dyme."

"_Fine_! Don't tell me, see if I-Wait, what?"

Demyx shrugged. "My original name was Dyme. You know, like part of the currency one or two worlds use. Oh!" He snapped his fingers as insparation struck. "Dude, listen to this!" He stood up from the couch and picked up his sitar. "**TNT! It's Dymanite! TN-**Hey Zex, where're you going?! I just started!"

The Cloaked Schemer left to find Lexaeus. "I need someone sane to talk to." He mumbled as Roxas asked why number VI looked to pissed.

* * *

Even when he gets his answers, Zexion still can't get a break.

Note, at the time of this chapter's posting, the names of Demyx, Luxord, Marluxia, and Larxene are unknown. If Squeenix decides to reveal them in the future...Well then these chapters are AU. HURF DURF.

Apparently, Dymanite is a real word...According to spell-check that is.

Thanks for reading!


	6. Out of Control VII through XIII

I remember reading a Larxene x Axel drabble collection a while ago, and one of the drabbles said that whenever one of the Orgy 13 members gets sick, their powers go out of whack. I decided to try something similar to that idea and run with it. _With every single member_.

* * *

**Light**

Axel gently placed the ice pack on Roxas' forehead. "Poor guy." He whispered to himself, as to not wake the Key of Destiny. "Tripped right into the fountain..."

Roxas' nose twitched. "Ah...Ah...!"

"...Oh shi-"

"ACHOO!"

"GODDAMMIT! I'M BLIND! ROXAS, WHERE ARE Y-OW! I think I just ran into the damn wall!"

**Electricity**

"Pass me the salt, will ya?"

Xaldin grabbed one of the shakers in front of him and passed it down the table.

Unfortunately, when the shaker reached Xigbar, he decided to chuck it the rest of the way down the dining table.

Larxene, not expecting a condiment shaker being thrown at her, tried to catch it in a panic. Coincidentally, while she fumbled with it, a few sprinkles of what was contained flew through the air, and into the Savage Nymph's nose. And it wasn't salt. "Ugh...Ack...Ah...!"

The other twelve members hastily stood up from the table and ran behind Lexaeus. "Ground us, ground us!" Demyx shouted.

"Achoo!"

_BZZZRRRT!_

**Flower**

Luxord approached Axel nervously. "Ah, Axel...Could I ask a favor from you?"

The Flurry of Dancing Flames groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. "What is it _this _time, Lux?"

"Yes, well...Marluxia finally discovered the one flower he's allergic to, and...Well..."

Number VIII sighed. "How much do I have to burn?"

"The entire living quarters looks like a jungle. I think Saix may still be stuck in there. Well, best of luck to you!" And then he left as fast as he could.

Axel growled as he stomped over to where his subordinate mentioned. "Why do _I_ always get stuck with the icky jobs?"

**Time**

Saix slowly approached Zexion. "Number...VI...have...you...seen...Luxord...?"

"Yeahhe'ssickinhisroomwhy?"

"That...explains...everything..."

"IgottagohelpVexenbye!" And Zexion had ran out of the room at a blinding speed.

The Diviner blinked incredibly slowly. "I...detest...this...sluggishness..."

**Water**

"Hello Never Was!" Demyx called out into the microphone. He was standing on a stage he set up in the castle, and advertised a concert he was going to preform. With nothing else to do, half of the Organization had attended.

Although the audience didn't seem to care for the first couple of songs, they started cheering wildly when the Nocturne started his third.

But what he didn't realise, was that they were cheering for Xigbar, who snuck up behind number IX when he wasn't looking.

"Boo!"

"HOLY SHIT!!!"

And the next thing they knew, they were all swimming in a ten-foot-deep pool.

Axel already started plotting his revenge against the Sharpshooter.

**Fire**

"...Roxas?"

The boy looked up from his roasting marshmallow. "Yeah?"

"What are you doing?"

"Roasting marshmallows, duh."

"Do you have to use _me_ for a fire?"

"Well, what better way to roast stuff than a walking pillar of fire?"

Indeed, various parts of Axel's body spontaneously combust into flames from time to time when he's sick, and his hair looks like a more literal mane of fire. "...Just gimme a 'mallow when you're done."

"Sure thing!"

**Moon**

Vexen's face showed pure joy when he spotted Xaldin walking down one of the halls. "Oh, Xaldin! Please, hide me or help me run or something!"

The Lancer glanced at his fellow senior member. "What is the problem now, Vexen?"

"It's Saix!" Number IV said, as if that was all that was needed to be said. Clearly it wasn't, because Xaldin motioned for the Chilly Academic to continue. "He saw a red moon on our mission! Do you know what a red moon _does_ to that lunatic?!"

Before Xaldin could even try to guess, he saw the object of Vexen's fears..._Skipping _down the hall. Saix was skipping and his face showed nothing but pure bliss. "Why _hello_ there, friends!" He waltzed up to the Lancer and affectionately shook his hands. "It is _so_ good to see you, number III!"

The Lancer raised an eyebrow as number IV cowered behind the taller man. He couldn't understand why Vexen was so afraid. Sure, this behavior was downright _creepy_, but there's no reason for such fear.

And the next thing Xaldin knew, he was thrown against the wall and held there by the neck. Who did this? A berserk-mode Saix. Yellow eyes, messed up hair, larger scar, and all. He tried to wrestle out of the Lunar Diviner's grip, but Saix was incredibly strong, only surpassed by Lexaeus in brute strength. Xaldin was no pushover either, but compared to a crazy Saix he was like a poodle!

A few seconds later, number III dropped to the ground, gasping for air. Number VII had continued skipping down the hall in his blissful state, like nothing had happened. "Vexen..." He coughed, as he noticed the Academic trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. "What...the hell...just happened...?!"

"Well," Vexen started as soon as he was sure Saix was out of earshot. "I believe that if Saix is under the influence of a red moon, he randomly switches between his berserker form, and some bizzare...happy..._thing_."

As if to prove his point...

_crash!_

"Gah! Saix! That laptop cost me a ton of munny! What the hell are you-GACK!"

"...If I had a heart, I'd feel sorry for Zexion." Vexen chuckled.

* * *

The senior members will be in the next chapter.


	7. Out of Control I through VI

**Illusion**

"Dude!" Demyx banged on Luxord's door. "You _have_ to see this!"

The owner of the room opened the door. "What is it _now_, Dem-Woah..."

"I know, right?! It's like a castle-wide hall of mirrors!" The Nocturne jumped in excitement, and all of his various illusionary clones did the same.

"...I assume that Zexion is ill, correct?"

"Yep! C'mon, race ya to the kitchen!"

"...First to get there gets the loser's eggs?"

"You're on!"

And much laughs were had as the two ran into walls and other Organization members when they thought they would turn down another hallway.

**Earth**

Lexaeus opened the fridge, only to find something missing. "...Marluxia?" The giant of a Nobody asked the man sitting at the table behind him. "Where's the last can of Blue Falcon?"

"I believe Luxord took it, why?"

"..." The Hero summoned his axe-sword and stalked out of the room.

**...**

Xion threw her hands up in the air. "I dunno _how _you can stand Wonderland, Luxord. That place confuses me to no end!"

The Gambler chuckled and sipped a bit of liquid from his can he held. "I actually find it quite fascinating. Mazes that constantly change, contradictions that can make perfect sense, soldiers made out of cards...It's heaven for the living...And non-existing."

Axel scoffed. "Whatever you say, Lux."

Luxord's eyebrow rose. "Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?" Xion tilted her head in confusion.

Number VIII's eyes immediately focused onto the drink Luxord was holding. "Dude...Was that the last can of Blue Falcon?"

"Hmm? Yes, why?"

"**LUXOOOOORRRRRD!!!**"

From down the hall, the three Nobodies could see Lexaeus zooming towards them, seemingly riding on the ground itself.

"Run, Lux! We'll hold him off!" Axel summoned his chakrams and, although confused, Xion did the same with her keyblade.

The Gambler of Fate decided to not ask questions and bolted down the opposite corridor.

Lexaeus, plowing through Axel and Xion like they weren't even there, continued his relentless chase. He used his powers over earth and rock to create large pillars of stone to impede Luxord's escape. Jumping, swerving, and ducking, number X did his best to stay away from the normally-Silent Hero. After what seemed like hours of running, Luxord spotted his room not too far away. He was almost there! Freedom! Home fr-

And then he ran into a giant wall of stone that appeared out of nowhere. Before he could figure out what just happened, he found himself being body-slammed _through _the wall and onto the ground. Then, he was being held up about two feet off the ground by Lexaeus. The Hero's face, normally calm and composed, now expressed extreme rage and irritation. "Where. Is. My. **Drink?!**"

"I-I think I m-may have dropped it wh-when you sh-shouted my name i-in rage!"

After a minute of glaring on Lexaeus' part, he roughly dropped Luxord and proceeded to walk back down the hall. 'For a second there,' he thought as he caught his breath. 'I thought I was going to die!'

The proceeding events happened in less than a second:

A giant fist made of stone erupted from the earth.  
The fist had slammed Luxord's face and sent him flying.  
Lexaeus grinned for a split second as he heard number X's cry of pain before returning to his normal, stoic expression.

**Ice**

Vexen cackled like a madman as he poured some liquids into a large beaker. "Yes...Yes! I'm so close! Some Dark Ingot...Some Rune Techs...Aaaaannnnd..."

"Hey Vex, we need-"

"DO NOT INTERRUPT ME!" And the Academic froze Axel in a fit of insane rage.

The fire-bearer quickly thawed himself out. "Now I know why they sent me to get you." He growled as he forcefully dragged Vexen to dinner.

"My experiments! They're almost complete! Let go of me, you crazy loon!"

"Yeah? And why should I?"

"For science!"

**Wind**

"Zexion!" Demyx yelled over the howling winds that swept through the castle. "What the hell's going on?!"

The Nobody in question held onto a pillar, as he was afraid he'd be blown away if he wasn't anchored to something. "Xaldin is pretty upset!"

"Why?!"

"Roxas beat his Heartless kill count! He's been at the top since the Organization was formed, and he's angry that some kid beat him in no time flat!"

"...Wow, he's pathetic!" And then Demyx found himself blown out of a window by a powerful gust of wind.

**Space**

_Achoo!_

"What the-?!" Larxene suddenly found herself in the library. "What the hell?! I was just in the-"

_Achoo!_

"-Arena...What?!" Now she was standing on top of the Altar of Naught. "The hell is going-"

_Achoo!_

"-on?! GAH!" The Nymph quickly jumped to the side before a lance was embedded into her skull.

Xaldin un-summoned his spear. "What are you doing in my room, Larxene?"

"I wish I-"

_Achoo!_

"-knew! OKAY, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!"

Vexen, who turned around at Larxene's surprise entry, stated. "Ah, Xigbar is sick. When he's sick, he tends to teleport things against his will. Why, until just a moment ago, I was falling from a height of around 300 feet."

"...Shi-"

_Achoo!_

"-t..." Number XII noticed that she was now wearing a bikini and had a dolphin tail. "...I was teleported to _Atlantica?!_ I will _kill _that sonuvabitch!"

**Nothingness**

Roxas approached Zexion. "Hey, Zexion?"

"Hm?" He looked up from his book at the sound of his name. "Yes, Roxas?"

"What exactly _is_ Xemnas' power? I mean, I know it's Nothingness, but what exactly is that?"

Number VI opened his mouth to respond, then closed it again. He did this multiple times before saying, "I honestly don't know. I don't think I've ever seen him fight, get sick, or get angry...Or even pretend to get angry. I don't think anyone has, to be precise." Roxas was about to say something, but Zexion cut him off. "Wait, I remember _one_ time where he got sick."

"What happened?"

"He sneezed. Once. And then the entire castle was filled with almost every type of lesser Nobody that you can think of."

Number XIII's eyes widened. "...Yikes."


	8. Heartmore

"Hey Axel?" Roxas asked one time while he, Axel, and Xion were eating ice cream on Twilight Town's clock tower. "You said that Xemnas had a Heartless version of himself, right?"

Number VIII bit into his ice cream bar before replying, "Yep. A tad bit more insane than our boss, though."

"Do we have Heartless versions of ourselves?" Xion asked, seemingly reading Roxas' mind.

"Yeah, but they're not as cool looking as the Superior's. Ours look like freaks, just like every other Heartless."

Roxas tolted his head in thought as he finished off his ice cream. "What's yours look like?"

Axel sighed and rubbed the back of his head. "You're gonna ask about all of the members now, aren't ya?" Both of the keybladers nodded. "A'right. Mine looks like some giant blob of lava. It's part of a tag-team with Vexen's, which is a blob of ice. Honestly, I think it could've captured my awesomeness a bit better than some fat piece of lard...It fits Vex, though." His two friends had a laugh at that. "Lexaeus' is freaking _huge_! Really, it's bigger than this tower!"

Roxas and Xion's eyes widened in shock. "Really?!" The girl gasped.

The Flurry pointed his popsicle stick at her. "Really. Now, Marluxia's is hilarious. His is called the Parasite Cage, and it was killed by...Uh, one of us. It was inside the stomach of a giant whale." Axel had to grab Roxas' shoulder to keep him from falling off the tower, he was laughing so hard. "Don't kill yourself, Rox. Now, where was I...? Oh yeah. Now, Xaldin's is freaking scary. His Heartless is a freakishly gigantic dragon."

The boy just gawked, while Xion put a hand to her chin. "That makes so much sense..."

Axel nodded. "Yep. And that's all the ones I know."

"What?" Roxas protested. "That's it?"

"That's it. Now," The oldest of the trio stood up. "since we finished our missions especially early, I'll go get us another batch of frozen goodies to go." After all, he needed time to get rid of this weird non-feeling he had for lying to his friends. It wasn't as big as the other lies that he's told them, but every time he does it, he just couldn't bring himself to stay around them for long...


	9. Obligatory

I apologise in advance.

* * *

Axel and Demyx snickered, Roxas nervously chuckled, Xaldin wished he could be anywhere else, Lexaeus just sat there, and Xemnas was wondering why these five had called him to the throne room.

"Make this quick." He said in his deep, emotionless voice. "Kingdom Hearts does not complete itself."

Axel stood up, and like that was a signal, the others stood on their thrones too. "A'right guys, ready?" Three nods and an angered growl answered back. "Close enough. Go ahead Lex, start us off."

The Silent Hero cleared his throat. "Earth!" He suddenly started glowing yellow.

"Fire!" Axel pumped his fist in the air as he started to glow red.

'This better be worth the 50,000 munny.' Xaldin thought before shouting, "Wind!" A green glow.

"Water!" Demyx was next, and he glowed blue.

Roxas, last but not least, shouted, "Light!"

"With our powers combined," they said in unison and they all pointed at the Superior. "you are Captain Xemnas!"

To all of their surprise, five beams of colored light flew from each of the lower-ranked members and into their leader. When the light vanished, Xemnas was now wearing a new cloak: white with jagged black lines etched all over it.

The Superior glanced at his new cloak with his usual half-lidded glare. "...Although I do not think your little...chant was necessary, I will raise all of your salaries for improving my fighting capabilities. Dismissed." And he vanished through a Corridor of Darkness.

A minute or two of stunned silence passed over the five Organization members before Demyx exclaimed, "What the _hell_ just happened?!"


	10. Badass Old Man

**WARNING: MINOR SPOILERS TO BIRTH BY SLEEP**

**

* * *

**Marluxia approached Xigbar, who was sniping Heartless on one of the balconies in the Castle That Never Was. "Boom, head-shot." The Sharpshooter chuckled.

"Xigbar, may I ask you something?" Number XI inquired.

_Bang!_ "Sure thing, flower-power."

The entire Organization had learned to ignore Xigbar's bizarre nicknames. "I was curious about how you received those scars of yours."

"Fell down some stairs."

Marluxia raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

_Bang! _"As if!" He turned halfway around and pointed at his eye-patch. "Got my scars and lost my eye against some punk keyblader ten years ago. He got a couple of lucky shots in. I beat him up more for it."

"There were keyblade weilders before Sora?"

"Hell yeah there were!" _Bang bang! _"Tons of 'em! Then something or another happened and now there's like, three left." _Bang! _"Things were more exciting back then, too. Things called the Unversed runnin' around and causing havoc, a big ol' war that spanned multiple worlds, hot chicks that knew how to fight and weren't sadistic or Poppet, and-Hey! Where're you going?!"

Marluxia waved goodbye as he walked away. "I guess those grey streaks in your hair aren't just for looks!"

* * *

I'm not sure how much of this is actually accurate, as I'm going off scattered info on the game.


	11. Wandering Minds

...I just saw the secret ending to Birth by Sleep. I won't spoil anything, but the HSQ (Holy Shit Quotient) is through the freaking roof. Even if you can't understand a thing they're saying.

Also, I realise I've made a slight mistake in past chapters. Xigbar is the FREEshooter, not SHARPshooter...But I'm not gonna change it because Sharpshooter sounds more badass anyways.

* * *

"Axel?"

"Hm?"

Axel, Roxas, and Xion were again sitting on top of Twilight Town's clock tower. Number XIV continued her question, "Why do we all have elemental powers?"

The Flurry of Dancing Flames took another bite of sea-salt ice cream. "Because we had them when we were Somebodies."

Roxas almost fell off the clock tower, again, in shock. "Really?!"

"Yep, but we didn't flaunt them like we do now. Some of us didn't even realise that we had powers 'till right before we became Nobodies." Axel flipped over his popsicle stick to see if he had a WINNER, but found nothing. "Dammit, I never win these things."

"Like who?" Xion inquired.

"Like who what?"

"Who didn't discover their powers until too late?"

Axel stood up, stretching his limbs as he did so. "Sorry, can't tell ya. It's a secret I'm taking to the grave."

Roxas and Xion stood as well. The former asked, "It was you, wasn't it?"

"Me? Nah, I've been a hothead for as long as I can remember. I'm tellin' ya Roxas, you're not getting that piece of info from me." He tapped the side of his head, and they all knew what he was going to say next. "Got it memorized?"

Xion pouted as she summoned a Corridor of Darkness. "You're no fun, Axel."

Roxas commented, "That's like saying Demyx likes working."

"Or that Larxene is nice." Axel added.

"Or that Vexen hates science." Number XIV chuckled.

The Flurry thought of the best way to finish this bash-fest: "Or that Marluxia is a man."

Later that day at dinner, Marluxia wondered why in Kingdom Hearts' name Axel, Roxas, and Xion snickered to themselves whenever they glanced in his direction.

* * *

...I got wildly off topic there, didn't I? Heheh.


	12. Raid

"Dude, we shouldn't be doing this..."

"Lighten up, Demyx. Larxy's gonna be gone all week on a recon mission, so now's the _perfect_ time to raid her room."

"I dunno man, if we wanted to raid a girl's room, couldn't we have raided Xion's? Or Marluxia's?"

"One's my friend and the other's a dude...I think."

"So it's perfectly alright to ransack the _sadistic bitch's_ room?!"

"We're not ransacking, we're just going where no man's gone before."

"Oh, I bet there's been plenty of men in there. They just _don't come out._"

"Shut up, we're here."

Axel had conceived the brilliant idea of looking through Larxene's room while she was away. He was curious as to what the Savage Nymph held in there. He also brought along Demyx, just in case he needed a scapegoat.

But of course the Melodious Nocturne doesn't know that.

Axel slowly opened the door, mostly because he wanted to build up Demyx's anxiety, but also because he was a bit scared himself. Who knows what number XII is hiding in her room?

Turns out it looked like almost every other bedroom in the castle. Bland, white, and had a few scattered personal items strewn about. In Larxene's case, that meant a big bookcase and a large, black chest.

"A'right, Demyx. You check out the chest, I'll see what she's got hiding in that bookcase."

"I bet Larxene has a dead body in here or something." But nonetheless, Demyx did what he was told. Needless to say, what he found was not a dead body. "...What the hell?"

"Wha'd ya find?"

"Since when were we allowed to wear _normal_ clothes?!"

"I dunno. She's a girl; you know how much they fuss over fashion...Even if they _are_ psychotic. What type of clothes she got?"

"Like..._Normal_ stuff. Shirts, jeans...Thongs?!"

"...That's hot."

"You would say that...What the-" Demyx quickly closed the chest and Axel turned around to see what the problem was. "I saw a whip." Axel just gave him a 'you're surprised?' look before returning to the bookshelf. "So what she got?"

"Very disturbing books. I think I saw a 'Sadism for Dummies' book somewhere on the bottom shelf."

"...Meep."

Number VIII continued to scan the books. It was all what he'd expect from Larxene. No dirty secrets or-"Hello, what's this?" He pulled out a book; one that seemed to stand out from the others. "Hah! It's a romance comic book!"

"Dominatrix crap, right?"

"No no, it looks all sappy and shit!"

Demyx walked closer and peeked over Axel's shoulder. "Oh, gross. That's a yaoi comic."

"...A what-now?"

"Yaoi. Boy-love. Gay crap that girls like for some reason."

"...And you know this...How?"

"I read its opposite: Yuri."

"...Lesbians, I assume?"

"Yep!"

"Figured."

"...Hey wait a sec," he took a closer look at the cover of the comic. "those boys look familiar."

"Really?"

"...Holy shit dude, that's you and Roxas!"

Axel did a double-take as he examined the two boy's faces. "...Okay _what the hell?! _How in the _world_ could a comic like this even _exist?!_"

"...Larxene spends some time with Naminé, right? Maybe she, uhh, asked her to...make this for her?"

"...Okay, help me out here. Should I be _flattered _that I'm apparently sexy enough for Larxene to read of my alternate universe self's exploits, _disturbed _that Larxene reads a comic about me loving a boy like half my age, or _pissed_ that she's using our captive witch to make this?"

"...How about we just go kill some Heartless and forget we ever did this?"

"Sure, why not? I suddenly have an overwhelming urge to burn something, anyways. Something fast, shocking, and sadistic."

"...Dude, can you put your spiky wheels of death away until we get outside?"

* * *

Please note that these two's opinions on yaoi are not the same as my own...Mostly. Okay, I have nothing against it, but like hell I'd read one unless I was payed.


	13. Survival of the Fittest

"You sure about this, Xiggy?"

"Sure I'm sure! Just run when you dump the water on him."

"...I'm good at running."

"'Atta boy!"

"But what if he knows I'm the one who did it?"

"As if! Just run fast enough and he'll never catch you. Hell, warp to Atlantica if he's persistent."

"...Okay...Here goes nothing..._DANCE WATER, DANCE!_"

"Wha-"

_SPLOOSH!_

Axel, who was peacefully sleeping in his bed, was now completely drenched. And awake. And pissed. "...DEMYX!!!"

**...**

"_GAAAAAAAHHHH!!!_"

"**_I'LL KILL YOU DEMYX, EVEN IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO!!! WHICH IT WON'T, BECAUSE I'LL KILL YOU RIGHT NOW!!!_**"

Zexion looked up from his book in the library. "...What was that?"

Vexen, who was sitting across from him, smirked and said, "Natural selection taking its course."

* * *

Don't worry Demyx fans, he'll get a break eventually!


	14. Favorite World?

**Roxas**

"I like Twilight Town."

"Why's that?"

"It's where you, me, and Axel go to relax and have fun. I couldn't think of a better reason."

**Larxene**

"Do I _have_ to choose?"

"Please...?"

"Fine. I like Halloween Town. It's all creepy and awesome."

**Marluxia**

"Well, I suppose I'd have to choose the Deep Jungle."

"Why?"

"The flora there are some of the most interesting I've ever seen in my life.

**Luxord**

"I believe I've already informed you of this, but Wonderland is my favorite world."

"Oh yeah, you said...Umm..."

"The confusing mazes, the sensible nonsense, the confusing that makes perfect sense...It's just a very intriguing place."

**Demyx**

"Atlantica, duh."

"All the water, huh?"

"Hecks yeah. And I turn into a freakin' shark! Om nom nom!"

"...Okay then..."

**Axel**

"I would have to say...Hollow Bastion."

"Why?"

"No reason in particular..."

**Saix**

"Why must I answer to _you?_"

"Please? I'm asking all of us, and I'm just curious."

"Curiosity killed the cat."

"_Pleeeeeeaaaaase?_"

"...Hollow Bastion."

"Wh-"

"Because shut up."

**Zexion**

"Port Royal is my favorite."

"Really? I wouldn't of pegged you for a pirate guy."

"Yes well...Don't tell anyone, but I've always admired pirates since I was a little kid."

"Aww, that's cute!"

"Please go away."

**Lexaeus**

"Neverland."

"Why is that?"

"...I...Like to fly."

"Aww, you're just a big softy!"

"Would you like to step into the ring and say that again?"

"No thanks!

**Vexen**

"Stop pestering me!"

"C'mon, just answer this and I'll go away!"

"For now..."

"Please?"

"Oh all right! Yeesh you're persistent. I like Hollow Bastion and no I'm not going to tell you why now _GET OUT!_"

**Xaldin**

"Beast's Castle is my current interest at the moment."

"Why?"

"Hm...You'll see..."

**Xigbar**

"Port Royal, of course!"

"Is it because you look like one of them?"

"Heh, you got that right, Poppet!"

"Stop calling me that!"

**Xemnas**

"Kingdom Hearts is the most majestic of all worlds..."

"But, it's not a world."

"Yet..."

"...O...kay then..."


	15. Resemblance 1

Wow, this is more popular than I thought it'd be. I should've started writing drabbles ages ago!

* * *

Luxord walked up to Axel with a somewhat distraught look on his face. "Axel, do you have a twin, perhaps? When you were a Somebody?"

"...Funny thing is, that isn't the oddest question I've been asked today." Number VIII shook his head to put his mind back on the correct topic. "No, I've always been an only child, why?"

"Well, I just went to this one world...It was uncanny, I tell you! Crimson hair, same attitude, same exact _voice_! Hell, I'm pretty sure he's friends with a blond, spiky-haired boy!"

Axel just blinked at number X, who started flailing his arms around for emphasis. "...Dude, Lux, did you drink one of Lex's Blue Falcons again?"

"I swear to Kingdom Hearts, I am _not _fabricating this story!" Luxord pointed a finger at his colleague. "You have a doppelganger out there, and one day you will see him. I swear to it."

"That's nice. Can I go now? You're making me late for my mission." And then Axel proceeded to continue down the hall like the conversation never happened.

Number X seethed. "That bloody idiot doesn't believe me! I'll show him...I wonder if Marluxia still has that camera...?"

* * *

This isn't over yet...

Also, all you Final Fantasy VII fans know exactly who Luxy is talking about.

And again, let me say this: If you have any ideas, please send them in. I'm open to suggestions!


	16. Resemblance 2

Luxord slammed down a photo at the table Axel was reading a book at. "Hah! Undeniable proof that you have a doppelganger!"

The Flurry looked at the picture. "...Okay yeah, he has red hair. I guess that means every redhead is my clone?"

Number X looked just about ready to tear his hair out, when Saix walked into the room. "Number VIII, it's your turn this week to buy the groceries."

"A'right. Later Lux."

"I'll prove it! I know I will!"

Luxord's ranting grew fainter and fainter as Axel and Saix walked down the hall. "What seems to be the problem with number X?"

"I dunno, I think Vexen's a bad influence on all of us."

About half an hour later, Axel was walking through the main plaza of the newly-restored Hollow Bastion. Grocery shopping was the only mission that didn't require stealth. All they had to do was give the shopping list to the food-store Moogle. The little guys were great shop-keepers, as they never asked questions or shared customer information. They also were able to transport amazing quantities of supplies across worlds somehow.

After giving the Moogle the list, the fire-wielder decided to rest on a nearby bench; after all, it's been a long time since he's had a chance to truely enjoy civilization. He closed his eyes and started relaxing...

And then promptly opened them again when someone sat in the spot next to him. The guy was lanky, with short, spiky crimson hair with longer hair tied into a low ponytail. He wore a navy-blue suit, but it didn't loo like he cared much for its condition, and he had a set of goggles resting on his forehead. He also had an interesting set of red tattoos on his cheek bones. "Yo."

"Hey."

"Interesting get up you got there."

Axel glanced at his black cloak for a second. "Yeah well, I could say the same for you."

"Heh, true enough." The man stuck out his hand. "Name's Reno."

Number VIII took his hand and shook it. "Axel."

"You seem pretty cool, yo."

Axel chuckled. "You're not too bad yourself. So, what do you do for a living?"

Reno waved his hand in the air dismissively. "Bah, I used to be a badass merc, right? Then our company went under an' now me and my pals just do odd jobs here an' there. Whaddabout you?"

"We're part of a travelling group that hunts Heartless."

"You're kidding!"

"No, it's completely true."

"Dude, that is what I'm _talkin' _about!" Reno high-fived Axel. "You gotta let me meet your buds sometime, yo!"

The Flurry glanced at the sun, which was starting to get low in the sky. "Maybe someday, but right now I gotta get back."

"A'right. Hey, sorry man, but I forgot. What's your name again?"

Axel tapped the side of his head and smirked. "Axel. Got it memorized?"

**...**

"Hey Luxord!"

"What do you want, Axel?"

"I met that guy you were talking about."

"Really?! _Now_ do you believe me?!"

"Nah. The guy's nothing like me. Maybe the hair, but only a tiny bit."

"...Pardon me while I go to the city to murder some Heartless."

"You do that."

* * *

...I like Reno.

And by the way, you haven't seen the last of him. And you'll meet his friends next time. And they aren't the Turks from FF7. LE GASPE. (Yes, I will be cameo-whoring a few FF characters into this SO SUE ME.)

The next chapter is the last of this Axel and Reno arc. STAY TUNED.


	17. Resemblance 3

Holy shit I just realised how much Axel's been in this lately. I MUST FIX THIS! ...Next chapter.

* * *

"Axel, you sure this is alright? I mean, we're always told to stay out of sight if possible."

"Yeah, well, two things. One: _If_ possible. We don't _have_ to for our entire lives. Two: _You _shouldn't be the one telling me this, Mr. 'Hurr What Is Stealth Hurr.'"

Xion whacked the two guys in the back of the head. "Stop arguing you two."

"Sorry Xion." Roxas and Axel apologised at the same time, then discreetly glared at each other.

Demyx popped up in-between them. "So, why're we here again?"

Number VIII said, "I met someone the other day, and I told him that I'd introduce my friends next time...And I guess Demyx too."

"Hey!"

"I'm joking, Dem!"

"...Better be."

The four had quickly reached the bench Axel had met Reno the other day in Hollow Bastion. The four waited, and sure enough, Reno came waltzing by. He had two girls and someone of an ambiguous gender following him, all of them wearing the same navy-blue suit. One of the girls had wavy silver hair and had a sword strapped to his hip. The other girl had long emerald hair tied up in a high ponytail, but she didn't seem to be equipped with any weapons. The last person's face couldn't be seen under the shade of their large, pointed red hat, but short grey hair fell from underneath it. They had a large spear strapped to their back, which looked like it's seen many uses in battle.

"Yo, Axel!"

"Reno, it looks like you got it memorized!"

"Hells yeah I did." Reno looked over the taller man's shoulder. "So, who're your buds?"

"Hm?" Axel looked behind him and noticed his three friends giving him a strange look. "Oh yeah. The short blond kid is Roxas, the only girl is Xion, and the guy with the half-brained expression is Demyx."

"He-Oh why do I even pretend to get angry at this point?" Roxas patted the Nocturne's back for comfort.

Reno nodded. "Cool, cool. Now, let me introduce you to _my_ pals! Tall, dark, and brooding over there is Freya."

The person with the spear nodded in acknowledgement. "Pleased to meet you." She said in a husky, yet feminine, voice.

"Greenielocks is Terra.

Said person did a small bow. "Hello!"

"An' last but not least, is Cecil. Before you say anything, yes, he _is_ a he."

All four of the Organization members took a double-take as the silver-haired man groaned in annoyance. "Do I really look _that_ much like a woman?!"

Everyone said yes, even a couple of random people just walking past them. Reno got them all back on track by saying, "Okay, enough shenanigans. Let's get to the Great Maw."

The others stared at him in confusion. Freya voiced their thoughts, "Why?"

The shorter redhead smirked. "'Cause, these guys said they hunted Heartless for a living," he pulled out a short metal rod and started tapping it on his shoulder. "an' I wanna hold a little competition."

**...**

The eight of them stood at the entrance to the giant ravine. "A'right," Reno picked up the coin that had landed face-up on the ground. "my team goes first. Whoever defeats the most Heartless in five minutes wins."

As if on cue, Heartless started pouring into the Great Maw by the dozens. Xion, who was holding a stop-watch that Terra had given her, shouted, "Go!"

To the Organization members, watching the four humans fight was amazing. They never knew ordinary people could do some of these things! Reno was using his electrified metal rod to paralyze Heartless and also used an interesting spell to trap the creatures in energy pyramids. Cecil was swinging his sword like a god, killing Heartless with a single stroke. He also used an interesting combination of light and dark magic, which greatly interested Roxas ("Hey Axel, you think I could learn Dark magic too?"). Terra, unlike the others, didn't use a weapon. She used magic like she had unlimited reserves of it. Fire, ice, thunder, and elements Axel couldn't even guess at flew from her fingertips and completely obliterated any Heartless within a ten-foot radius of her. Freya wasn't killing as many of the dark abominations as her teammates, but the ones she _did _kill she killed in style. She could jump incredibly high (Demyx even exclaimed she was flying at one point.), and would plummet down spear-first into a Heartless' head, killing even the strongest ones in a single hit.

"Time!" Xion shouted when the watch hit five minutes.

Reno and his group travelled back to the entrance. They calculated their kills and summed up to around 750. "Nice." The short redhead grinned. "A'right, your guys' turn."

Axel matched his new friend's grin. "With pleasure." And so he and his friends walked into the giant area, and with a cry of "Go!" from Terra, they started destroying Heartless. With Axel's fire and ranged attacks, Roxas' and Xion's single-mind styled fighting, and Demyx's giant waves of liquid and water clones, they were like a well-oiled killing machine. Soon enough, Terra called for them to stop and compare scores.

After all was said and calculated, Axel stated, "Well well, it seems like we have a tie."

"...Rematch?" Reno challanged.

"Hell yeah!"

The other six groaned. 'Maybe Luxord was right.' Roxas thought. 'Maybe these two _are_ long-lost twins...Or clones.'

* * *

...AND THEN THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER THE END. -shot-

So yeah...No more cameo-whoring I swear. Straight up KH characters from here on out!


	18. Never Ever

Vexen was completely out of breath after he finished the last wave of Heartless. Numerous injuries adorned his body as he pulled out a Hi-Potion. "This is why I should never be sent on heart collections without support." He mumbled as he un-corked the flask.

Before a single drop of the recovering liquid could be ingested, however, Lexaeus suddenly appeared before the Academic with an absolutely furious expression on his face. "**NO!**" He grabbed the collar of Vexen's cloak with one hand and punched his face with the other. "**ITEMS!**" Number V then brought Vexen's head down onto his knee. Hard. "**EVEEEERRRRRR!!!**" Finally, Lexaeus gave his cohort a massive uppercut to the jaw, sending the frail man flying.

Later, when he was fully healed, Vexen asked Zexion what in Kingdom Heart's name was wrong with Lexaeus.

"You didn't get the memo?" The Schemer asked with a smirk.

"Memo? What memo?!"

"This week is 'No Items Challange' week. Lexaeus can sense when one of us uses an item, so he makes sure that there's no cheating."

"...Why does something like that even _exist?!_"

"We save up on munny and items. In fact, if we do this every week, we could hypothetically save up to a years worth of items and over fifty grand of munny."

"...This was Marluxia's idea, wasn't it?"

"Yes. Yes it was."

"Damn hippie!"

* * *

COLLEGE STARTED. THAT IS THE REASON FOR WHY I AM BEING OF THE LATENESS.

Anywho, if you don't get the joke with Lex, then _shame on you_.

Thanks for reading!


	19. Influences

This is what happens when you listen to too much anime music.

* * *

Axel scanned over Roxas' DVD collection. He then did it a second time. Then a third for good measure. He pulled one out of its spot and read the name. "The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzu-..." He threw it behind him and picked out another. "Lucky Star..._Lucky Star_. _Really_, Roxas?" He turned to face his friend, who was sitting on his bed with an embarrassed expression. "I know you're a nerd and all, and I'd completely understand if you had something like FMA, or DBZ even. But _this_?" He pointed at the DVD case he was holding. "The hell has Xion been showing you?"

Roxas didn't respond.

Axel sighed and threw the DVD over his shoulder. "A'right, c'mon." He firmly grasped Number XIII's wrist and tugged him out of the room.

"W-what?!" Roxas stammered. "Where're we going?!"

"To watch a show worthy of men!" He smirked and dramatically clutched a fist in front of his face. "The entire Gundam series!"

"...Isn't there like, twenty versions of that or something?"

"Probably!"

"_Probably?!_ You don't even know?!"

"Illegally downloaded it all last night! Time for an archive binge! Hope you've pissed recently, 'cause we're not leaving my room 'till we're through!"

Xaldin, who had opened his door at the tail end of the conversation, promptly closed it and tried to forget what he just heard.

* * *

Please note that I am a man who enjoys the same anime as Roxas, so I'm not bashing.


	20. Heart 2 Heart

You can tell I'm running out of ideas.

* * *

Axel, Roxas, Demyx, and Xigbar cautiously traversed an eerily quiet and empty Halloween Town. Occasionally a large swarm of weak Heartless would ambush them, but that had been the only sign of activity so far. "This is so damn creepy!" Demyx whimpered.

Xigbar rolled his eye. "As if, Twinkletoes! We just gotta kill some freaks, fight a boss, then head home." He shrugged. "Just like every other mission."

"Yeah, but..." Roxas hesitantly looked around. "Don't you think it's weird? The Heartless have never been this organized before."

"Hush!" Axel ordered. "...I thought I heard someth-"

"GAAAAHH!!! HELP!!!" Numbers II, VII, and XIII turned around to witness Demyx get carried off by a Carrier Ghost.

Roxas cried out, "DEMY-GUH!" He was then promptly engulfed by a Massive Possessor.

"I got ya, Tiger!" Xigbar started to shoot the pure-blood Heartless, but was interrupted by a charging tackle from a Land Armor.

Axel, who was killing the minor Heartless that had appeared just then, quickly turned around to witness his comrades getting picked off one by one. "Shit! It's an ambush!" A plan quickly formed in his head: If he could RTC, he could get backup from the other members! The Flurry quickly jumped out of the large horde of Heartless and made a beeline back to the portal.

Unfortunately, a Stalwart Blade had other plans. "NOOOOOOOO!!!"

...

**GAME OVER**

The four Nobodies took off their training simulator helmets after seeing the large red letters in front of their eyes. "Dammit, Vexen!" Axel shouted. "Why the hell did you put the difficulty on Expert?!"

The Academic sitting behind the control panel shrugged and smirked. "I wanted to see if it worked. I just recently tweaked the AI to work efficiently as a team, and I needed someone to test it out."

...

Zexion looked up from the book he was reading. "Luxord, did you hear that? Sounded like a little girl screaming"

"I do believe," Number X stated as he finished another game of Solitaire. "that Vexen's time has just ran out."

* * *

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THIS WAS NOT GOOD.

Thanks for reading!


	21. Even More Obligatory

Marluxia quickly peeked around the corner to see where the Heartless were stationed, then turned back to her teammates: Xigbar, Xion, and Demyx. "Okay, there's about twenty of them, but we can get through this without much difficulty if we plan this _just _right." He pointed to the Freeshooter. "You find the highest viewpoint you can get to and start sniping when I give the signal. You," he pointed to Xion. "follow my every move and pick off any Heartless I miss. And you-...Where's Demyx?"

As if on cue, the Melodius Nocturne stepped out of a Corridor of Darkness. "Whew, sorry about that. Had to take a piss. So!" He summoned his sitar. "We ready for this?!"

"No, Demyx!" Xion attempted to grab Demyx before he rushed off, but to no avail. "Wait!"

"HEAVEN OR HELL, LET'S ROCK!!! YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!"

"No Demyx! Stick to the plan, _STICK TO THE PLAN!!!_"

...

Back at the Castle That Never Was, Vexen sighed as he handed out Elixirs to the returning party. "So, Demyx." He turned to said Nobody. "What have we learned today?"

Number IX shrugged. "I dunno, but I came up with a new song while we were getting our asses handed to us. Wanna hear?"

Xigbar slammed his fist against the back of Demyx's head, knocking the man out cold. "As if!"

* * *

Poor Demyx. SOMETIMES I AM THE MOST WORST.


End file.
